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My Rebirth – by Nik


My "rebirth" has happened like a lightening bolt as a result of reading, reflecting and acting on, Rick Warrens "Purpose Driven Life". That book has helped me to find a real relationship with GOD. My "rebirth" is still very new, and my development as a Christian has a long way to go, but with the help of Jesus Christ I will continue that journey.

I was baptised and raised as a Methodist in a Methodist family, attended Sunday School, became a "champion collector" for JMA (missionary) funds, but I never understood or accepted GOD. In fact as I grew up and moved away from home, I denied God, proud to call myself "agnostic" and then "atheist". Yes, I believed in a historical Jesus, but not his miracles, and not as the son of GOD. Yes, I thought love was the most important thing for humans to understand, but I didn't understand it. In fact love soon became confused with other things; but even so, my life seemed ok, I was "doing well", ok so relationships had failed so did other peoples "that's just how it is nowadays".

Then I met Angela, and still for a long time in our relationship I continued to have forgotten how to love, disguising it in other things; in pride, in lust, and in pursuit of "success". We had Imogen, and alongside Nikki and Damion, and my first grandchild Amelia life seemed complete and yet, somewhere there was a nagging feeling of something missing. Angela began to teach me how to love again, and through that we together have both found that missing something is.GOD.

At the same time my Mother became increasingly ill with Alzheimers, this was a critical time for everyone concerned. I now understand the GOD has used this illness to bring me closer to my Dad, and to my brother, Nigel. It was Nigel who has introduced me, Angela and my Dad to the "Purpose Driven Life"; it is Nigel who has led me back to GOD.

I thank GOD for using my mother’s illness to bring me closer again to my brother who has helped me find GOD.
I thank GOD that he put Angela in my path to teach me how to love again, and so teach me how to love GOD.

Already, as a result of our "rebirth" there are two major events planned for early in 2004. First the baptisms of Imogen and Nikki (18.01.04), it is a great joy that our own rebirth has also led to their baptisms, and them finding GOD in their lives.

The second event is Angela and my marriage (7.02.04), after ten years together. Previously there had seemed no relevance to a marriage "ritual" we did not believe in, but now it is important to us that we seal our marriage "before GOD" and look for him to bless it.

This journal is in part my own document to map and help guide me in my own relationship with GOD, but it is also a testimony for anyone reading it at anytime; it is not a secret diary, there can be no secrets from GOD. It is not my diary; it is a diary that marks my relationship with GOD.